I have decided that this would be the best time to write about any moments or about any thoughts that occur on a daily basis for me, and I want to give thanks to my daughter Anisah (Lil Carol) for encouraging me to blog and to express my inner most thoughts as often as I can...
I started feeling a revelation in my life, and I started thinking about my purpose and my reason for being where I am...at this time in my life. I have learned that although my initial thoughts, my specific agenda and/or certain path in life would get me where I needed to be, I realized only recently that it would never be a part of the plan that God intended for me, and I am so thankful for the courage and the motivation that was forced into me in order to make a change and evolve.
As I look around, and I notice some of my challenges, I realize that I have aspired to be a better person because of them, and that life would not have been the same had I not faced them head on. Being fixed and determined can be a tiring-some thing, but without this great characteristic, I would not have made it this far to be who I am today. Being stubborn for the greater cause or even for striving for the end to my means, has made a difference for me in many ways, and sometimes my stubbornness has led me to believe that I may have lost out on certain opportunities...and then I still beg to differ on certain ones.
Sometimes I believe that I have miraculously made it through some of the most evil and heart-wrenching times more than any one could ever imagine, and sometimes I know that people would never believe that I have survived through so much strife with the way that I carry myself, but from the time I was a child waking up hours later from a praying position (crying while on my knees), I knew there was a God before Man could ever tell me about him, and when I woke up healed and happy that I did not have to tell my parents or my older siblings that I needed to go to the hospital, I was grateful that he answered my prayers and took my pain away.
I feel like that about certain people and certain places today, and I am glad that God has brought me to a time where I am able to face my past and build upon a better future knowing that he is here all along...and I am not afraid.
